The Big Gray and Red Spiky Thing

I have not done much creative writing to speak of in the last seventeen months. No poetry, and only one brief story on Day 71 of my lockdown.

This morning, I was wondering why.

I think my creative mind has been stunned into silence by all that has happened to me personally during the lockdown. I think all of us have had the wind knocked out of us to one degree or another. Everything is different. There will be no going back to “normal”.  Even if the day comes when we are all vaccinated (I know, wishful thinking), and we don’t have to wear masks anymore, and we can go to theatres and schools and churches and baseball games, some of us will always be hesitant to get too close to strangers or be obsessively looking for the hand-sanitizing stations. Some of us will be in constant fear of another pandemic and lockdown.

The fact is that another pandemic WILL happen again. This virus is already mutating and will mutate even more.  I predict that we will need to get new vaccinations every year for this virus, just like a regular flu shot.

Furthermore, as the climate changes and the ice caps melt, ancient viruses even more devastating than this current one might emerge from the melt. Some might argue with me about this, but it doesn’t matter if that actually happens or not.  The point is I will constantly be living with the fear that another Plague will happen.

Even worse than the fear of getting sick and dying, I am no longer able to trust the reasoning power of others. I know so many people who are downright crazy in their fear of science and common sense to the point where they will not get vaccinated. It is almost like a mass psychosis, a group mental illness. Seriously, do some of you really think you are being micro-chipped by getting a vaccine?   Get the damn vaccine, alright?

So how is this going to affect my creative output? I know some creatives wont include a mention of the pandemic in their work. How can they ignore an event that created such a foundational crumbling of all that we have thought safe and secure? Is it a form of denial? I suppose writing and reading creative fiction and poetry is a form of therapy for many creatives, a refuge in a time of trauma. Well, I guess I have some sympathy for that.  I just spent the last year and a half posting photos and drawings of safe things like flowers, fruit, fish and birds.

But eventually we creatives will need to address the elephant — er, rather the big gray and red spiky thing in the room.  I cannot see how we can’t.

ljgloyd 2021

Post Covid Daily Practice

During the lock down, I spent a lot of time viewing the videos of The Unexpected Gypsy. Based on her practice, I have been trying to do a daily drawing practice as well. I’ve learned a lot from her. I base my warm-up practice on this:

One Year and Six Days: Art Work

On a past post, a commenter said I should post more art work. Well, here is a colored-pencil sketch. I need more practice in portrait drawing.

LJG (c) 2021

One Year

One year ago today, I was in a local grocery store trying to stock up on supplies along with throngs of toilet paper panic-buyers.    It was the first day of my quarantine, a Friday the 13th.  I thought it would be only a few weeks of working at home.

One year later, I am still working at home.

Like many people I spent the year exploring new activities and hobbies. I’ve baked bread. (But only three times. Store-bought is better.)   I studied the Tao Teh Ching and read the Bhagavad Gita along with books on Buddhism and meditation. I got into doing at least one of the daily offices from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer (okay, not every day, but enough so that it is somewhat a habit). I’ve been experimenting in the kitchen with vegetarian cooking.  (Beans, beans, the magical fruit….).   I have been gardening– you’ve seen plenty of pictures here– and I have been trying to establish art-making as a daily practice (except I spend more time arting in my bedroom where the light is better than in the studio I set up.)

I have not been writing much. I need to be out and about gathering experiences to write on. I have not been drumming. I cannot drum alone and zoom drumming is not an option.  I have not been exercising much.  Bad girl, bad!

I’ve spent way too much time on social media. The upside:  I’ve been cultivating virtual relationships with other artists and like-minded people in FaceBook groups. I have spent hours binge-watching series like Downton Abbey and The Good Witch. I have been taking crash courses in ancient history on YouTube. Technology has been a God-send:  I’ve gotten to know the people of my faith community and my work community a whole lot better through Zoom. I’ve had many “virtual happy hours” with my personal friends via text messaging.

And I’ve been reading and reading and reading fiction– especially in the genres of fluffy mysteries and magical realism.

I’ve been more politically aware thanks to 24/7 cable news.   I’d like to think I made a difference for the better with my vote.

But these activities, along with work, could not fill up all the hours of the day and night. So I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting:   Reflecting on heavy issues like death and dying. (Yes, Covid has touched very close to home). Reflecting on the difference between being alone and being lonely. (Not something you want to ponder at 3:30 in the morning). Reflecting on my own physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. (I’ve got some work to do there).

Tomorrow, God-willing and the creek don’t rise, I am supposed to get my first vaccine dose. Even though the pandemic is far from over and I still need to be careful for the sake of others, when I get my second dose, I will consider this journaling project over.  I will have survived.

This quarantine has been as if the Universe has given me a time out to sift through a lot of inner stuff.

And I am trying hard to be grateful for that.

Ljgloyd (c)

Day 339: Guardian of the Garden

I know I haven’t posted much in a very long time. It is the same old same old: working at home trying to get through this quarantine. My turn for the vaccine is not here yet so I keep waiting.  That being said, I have not been idle. I’ve been slowly regenerating the soil in my garden.

There is a corner in my yard that gets almost no sun except for the very high days of summer. As a result, not much grows there.   A curious thing happened a few days ago. Somebody, no doubt a neighbor who was moving, dumped a bunch of trash on my lawn. In the process of throwing out the trash, I discovered in the heap this terra-cotta sun face. I could not bring myself to throw him out so I put him in this corner. He seemed a little lonely so I moved this small cairn which I had built elsewhere in the yard. I followed up by going to a local garden center and getting a helleborus plant, also known as Lenten Rose, which they tell me does well in the shade.

Maybe this new guardian of the garden will smile on this little corner and things will start to grow and thrive.  We’ll see.

ljg 2021

Day 290: Checking In

I realized that I have not posted much in several weeks. I’ve been working—thank God—and doing a lot of reading, journaling, puttering in the kitchen and gardening. I find it very hard to drum and make art.  These take a lot more creative energy that I simply do not have right now.

However, I was struck with a little green energy yesterday and I started working on a small container garden of succulents. I already had a bunch of baby aloe vera plants which a friend gave me and I added echeveria and tiny donkey tails.   My mama aloe vera has a 3 foot blossom.

So I do what I can to stay grounded and focused during what remains of a hideous year. I am hoping that with 2021 things will start to get better. If I don’t post again this week, then everyone have a happy new year. Stay well.

Aloe Vera blossom

Ljgloyd 2020

Day 253: November Amber

November amber: Where sunshine sleeps until the coming of Spring.

ljgloyd (c) 2020

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2020/11/22/rdp-sunday-amber/

Day 248: On Being an Open-Minded Skeptic

Tai Chi Chuan at the Beach, ljgloyd 2017

I believe in science.  I have little patience for flat-earthers who ignore basic, observable evidence, or those who won’t wear masks during a pandemic because …. well, I really don’t understand their “because”.    They make no sense.

That being said, I am open-minded enough to believe in the possibility of things that don’t have a readily available scientific explanation.

For example, I have, for decades, practiced various types of energetic practices such as qigong, tai chi chuan, and yoga– practices intended to move vital life force energy (Qi) through the body to optimize good health   I receive acupuncture treatments and take Chinese herbs for the same reason–they break up stagnant Qi.    I engage in these practices because I can observe the outcome: I feel better afterwards.

So for the time-being, I will be content to embrace the mystery and assume that one day our methods of scientific research will shed more light on the existence and operation of something so basic as our vital life force.

********

Here are two fascinating clips from the classic Bill Moyer’s documentary about Qi and traditional Chinese medicine.  In the second video, I appreciate the young man’s comments about advancing our methods of studying Qi.

ljgloyd (c) 2020

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2020/11/17/rdp-tuesday-qi/

Day 240: The Sunday After

On the Sunday after the election,
I turned off the chorus of cable news pundits,
and instead
Called a friend and chatted for an hour,
Zoomed to virtual church for a drink from my spiritual well,
Brewed tea,
Made minestrone,
Washed my kitchen floor.
I listened to the wind rattling my windows and stirring up
autumn leaves.
Then I pondered how to rebuild the bridges between
old friends and anonymous adversaries
and then realized how tough
it is going to be.

ljgloyd (c) 2020

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2020/11/09/rdp-monday-tough/

Day 238: Oh God Yes!

Character does matter.