I used to express myself through a variety of media. I used to paint, I used to bellydance, I used to take a lot of photographs, and now I mostly write. And even writing I have not done much lately. So easily derailed from my creative path am I by life circumstances that I wonder if I really do have the passion for any of it anymore.
When I was involved in past creative pursuits, did I do so simply because I was a narcissist who wanted attention? And when I didn’t get it, I moved on to another medium?
Maybe each expressive genre has a short shelf-life within my attention span. It is invigorating to work with a new medium, but then after a while when I reach the extent of my ability with a given medium, I get discouraged and move on.
Maybe I am just not an creative person at heart. It IS a lot of work to write, paint, take pictures, and especially to dance. (I am not as young as I used to be). I used to have a firey passion for the arts when the duende* spirit took over. Maybe the duende spirit has fled to someone more worthy and it has taken its fire with it.
Maybe I just need a good night’s sleep and the passion will be back. Perhaps I just need to apologize to the duende.
I’ll let you know what happens when I wake up.
*”Duende or tener duende (“having duende”) loosely means having soul, a heightened state of emotion, expression and authenticity, often connected with flamenco. The artistic and especially musical term was derived from the duende, a fairy or goblin-like creature in Spanish mythology.” — Wikipedia
Image: “Duende” (manipulated photograph) by ljgloyd (c) 2006, 2015